Live What You Say
The Courage to Be Accountable and the Responsibility to Make an Impact
The Courage to Be Accountable and the Responsibility to Make an Impact
As I write this, it’s been almost three weeks since I’ve sat down to create content. I had promised myself that I would ship something, anything, at least once a week, and here I am, reflecting on the promises I’ve broken to myself. Admittedly, it's far from the first time this has happened.
And look, I get it, in the grand scheme of it all, it’s just a couple of weeks, right? I have had a lot going on with work, travel, and connecting with both new people and loved ones these past 20 days. It’s been wonderful.
What I am sitting with, as I come back to my writing, is being able to hold both truths. I have true and valid reasons that I haven’t been creating content, as well as the truth that I said I would create content and haven’t.
This, I imagine, shows up in infinite ways for people as we set intentions, make promises, and establish goals for ourselves that ultimately take a back seat to other things that pop up in the moment.
I wanted to work out 3–4 times this week and ended up choosing to spend that time catching up on work or spending time with my kids instead.
I wanted to take my partner on a special date this week, and ended up allowing them to rest each night after work and during the weekend because of how demanding their job is right now.
I wanted to grow my company 2X this year, and as a result of a number of external circumstances, it was more important that we managed to stay in business and keep our current customers happy.
The list goes on.
All to say, accountability is an essential awareness on our path to fulfillment. We might never be perfect or get it all “right,” and yet recognizing the areas of our lives where we want to hold ourselves accountable and maintaining the intention to do so as best as possible is core to a courageous, conscious, and authentic approach to being.
This is the call of accountability.
And answering it is not a punishment or a burden; it can be one of the most courageous, freeing, and integrity-shaping acts we can take. It is the practice of becoming the kind of person we say we want to be. Of living the kind of life we say matters. Of honoring not just what we feel in private, but how we show up in public, especially to the people we affect, whether or not we realize it.
This article is an invitation: to take radical responsibility for our choices, to honor our commitments to ourselves, and to recognize the immense impact we have on the people and world around us. Not someday. Now.
What Does It Mean to Hold Yourself Accountable?
As I see it, holding ourselves accountable means we are willing to be the authors of our own lives. In this framework, we are not outsourcing our power to our past, our circumstances, our excuses, or our moods. It means our integrity matters more to us than our image. It means we learn to trust ourselves enough to follow through, and when we don’t or can’t or are unable, we do the work to reflect and look honestly at why, without shame or story. We continue to evolve and grow through this work.
Accountability isn’t perfection. Its presence. It’s the daily, gritty practice of noticing when actions drift from our values and choosing to course-correct, recommit, or re-evaluate with humility.
Martha Beck writes, “Integrity is the cure for unhappiness. Period.” Accountability is the discipline of integrity in motion. It’s not always glamorous, but it is always sacred. It means we stop confusing feeling inspired with being committed.
We show up.
Even when we don’t feel like it. Especially when no one is watching.
Being Held Accountable by Others
We are not meant to do this work alone.
Being held accountable by others means inviting trusted mirrors into your life who see you clearly, especially when you forget who you are. This is no small task, nor is it easy.
These are the people who love you enough to tell you the truth, not just what feels good. This is trust. This is surrender. They remember your commitments when you start rationalizing. They challenge your patterns, not to shame you, but to awaken your wholeness.
Brené Brown calls this kind of connection “the arena.” When you are in the arena of life, vulnerable, exposed, raw, and in this arena is where accountable community reminds us that we are brave, we are loved, and we are capable of rising.
It is also the place where those who do not see us, who are not ready to be in the arena with us, otherwise known as the spectators, will also make this a challenging place for us to be.
It’s an important paradox to recognize. While we need people who won’t let us off the hook too easily, partners, coaches, and friends who don’t just comfort our pain, but who champion our growth, we must also allow the rest of the noise to just pass by.
It is in this arena of accountability where we expand. And it is often not the easiest place to be.
The People Around You Are Mirrors
So now that we’ve made a commitment to the arena and can surrender to the immensity of its possibility, it’s important to remind ourselves that who we surround ourselves with is either reinforcing our avoidance or calling forth our courage.
Time to reflect…
Do your relationships reflect your values, or do they quietly erode them? Are you around people who normalize checking out, blaming, and settling? Or people who reflect what you’ve said matters to you and challenge you to live into it?
Every relationship is a mirror. Every close conversation reveals what we’re willing to face or what we’re still avoiding. Real accountability is not just about systems or goals; it’s about soul-level reflection.
We all need at least one person who reminds us of who we said we want to be and asks, gently but firmly, “Are you living like that’s true?”
To build a fulfilling life, we must choose our mirrors wisely.
That means surrounding ourselves with people who are also doing their work. People who know how to speak the truth in love. People who won’t abandon themselves and therefore won’t let us abandon our own becoming.
Radical Responsibility: The Foundation of Fulfillment
I believe that living a life of fulfillment demands radical responsibility. Not in the performative sense of doing what’s expected but in the deeply embodied sense of responding to your life with awareness, choice, and courage.
This is the practice of becoming response-able: the ability to respond to self, others, and purpose from a place of integrity and consciousness, not reaction.
Radical responsibility doesn’t blame others, and it doesn’t bypass pain. It says: I am responsible for what I choose. For how I show up. For how I love. For what I build or destroy with my presence.
We also begin to honor the fact that our choices are not isolated. Every action we take has a ripple effect. Whether in our homes, our workplaces, or our communities, we are always shaping something with our presence. Radical responsibility is the acknowledgment that what we do doesn’t just affect us, it influences the people we love, the systems we live in, and the culture we contribute to.
It is the difference between:
Complaining about your job and owning your power to change it.
Resenting your partner, and having the courage to name what’s true.
Avoiding hard conversations and realizing your silence is a message.
Waiting for life to hand you clarity, and choosing to create it.
When we take responsibility for our choices, we reclaim our freedom. We stop being victims of the world and start becoming participants in it.
This means making agreements, with ourselves and with others, rather than relying on unspoken or unconscious expectations.
Here is an invitation to stop expecting your partner to do something or be some way. Instead, give courage a shot and ask them for what you want, and have an open, honest, and compassionate conversation about what agreements look like toward getting what you want. They may not like it. They may disagree or reject, or judge. And it is in your truth of wanting to have open, honest agreement that they get the sovereignty to respond as they need to.
Truth is dope.
Integrity Is a Practice, Not a Personality Trait
Integrity is a skill we hone over time. We practice it. Daily. In the small, invisible decisions. In the moments no one will ever applaud.
Integrity is about what you do when no one is watching but yourself.
Integrity is not about never failing. Fuck perfection. It’s about recognizing when we do fail, and choosing to respond from truth instead of hiding, defending, or pretending.
And the more we live in integrity, the more trust we build with ourselves and with others. That trust becomes the soil for real freedom, deep connection, and a life that actually feels like ours.
Integrity requires us to tell the truth even when it’s inconvenient. It asks us to own our mess without making it someone else’s fault. It invites us to live like our choices matter, because, well…they do.
And in this process, we remain devoted to the practice. Accountable to the practice. Since anything else will just feel shitty.
Your Impact Matters More Than You Know
Every choice we make sends ripples out into our families, our friendships, our work, and our communities.
We don’t have to be public figures to have a public impact. How we love our kids shapes how they love themselves. How we lead our teams influences their confidence. How we treat strangers shifts the culture of our community.
So the question becomes: Are you aware of the impact you’re making? Are you leaving behind a wake of alignment or avoidance? Are your words and actions breeding trust and clarity or discord and confusion?
Living with awareness of your impact cannot be about walking on eggshells. It must be about walking with intention.
As David Whyte says, “The antidote to exhaustion is not rest, it is wholeheartedness.” Impact becomes whole when our hearts, our choices, and our values are in the same place.
We often underestimate how powerful our presence is. A consistent father, an honest friend, a generous leader, a kind stranger, these are not small things. These are the tectonic plates that move culture.
The Cost of Avoiding Accountability
Avoiding accountability might feel easier in the moment, but it costs everything that matters in the long run.
It can cost us our confidence, because we no longer trust ourselves.
It can cost our relationships, because people can feel the dissonance.
It can cost our peace, because we know, deep down, we’re betraying our truth.
It can cost our legacy, because we’re no longer living in the shape of who we came here to be.
Avoidance might feel like freedom, but it’s actually captivity. True freedom is the ability to live in alignment with truth. And, as I continue to write about and believe, that takes courage.
Integrity Is Contagious
Here’s a hot take: Just as avoidance is contagious, so is integrity. When one person starts living with radical responsibility, it gives permission to others to do the same.
When we:
Apologize without defensiveness
Follow through on our word
Own our shadow with humility
Choose courage over comfort
…we become a model of possibility. And others feel it.
This process is not just for our own self-transformation. We’re shifting the standard of what’s acceptable in family, workplace, or community. We’re showing what it means to live boldly, love real, and die fulfilled.
Holding the Mirror Without Shame: The Grace of Self-Compassion When You Fall Short
Quick reminder and important zoom-out: There will be moments when we don’t nail it. Moments of missing the mark. When the promise we made to ourselves slips. When our actions fall short of our integrity and all the old narratives rush in to say, “See? You’re not good enough.”
Love that voice…
And this is where self-compassion becomes essential.
It’s easy to romanticize accountability as a straight line of discipline and success. But in reality, growth looks more like a spiral. We return to the same lessons again and again, each time with a bit more awareness, a bit more strength, and, if you’re brave enough, a bit more kindness and compassion.
In these moments of misses, here is an invitation to resist the urge to collapse into judgment.
Instead, get curious. Ask:
What was I feeling when I let this go?
What belief took over in that moment?
What need was I trying to meet?
What would help me recommit with compassion rather than punishment?
Self-compassion isn’t an excuse. It’s what allows accountability to be sustainable. Without it, discipline turns into self-abuse. With it, discipline becomes devotion.
Think of self-compassion as the pause between mistake and meaning. It allows us to take a breath before we assign ourselves a story. It makes room for honesty without self-harm. And it opens the door to recommitment.
Because we are not here to be flawless. Sorry. Not possible.
We are here to have faith in ourselves and our path of growth.
We are faithful to the truth. Faithful to becoming. Faithful to values, even in moments where they feel far away.
Sometimes, the most courageous thing we can do is meet our broken promise with tenderness, and say:
I see where I drifted. I see what I forgot. And I choose to return.
Accountability without compassion is brittle. It breaks under pressure. But accountability rooted in love is resilient. It bends. It learns. It returns stronger.
So when there’s a miss or a lapse or a compromise, don’t just ask, “How did I fail?” Ask: “How can I return with even more love?”
Because every return is a resurrection. And we are always allowed to begin again. With more honesty and with more awareness.
Accountability isn’t about shame. It’s about truth.
Shame says: “I failed, so I’m broken.” Accountability says: “I drifted, so I’ll realign.”
One leads to collapse. The other leads to correction.
When we drop the shame and pick up the mirror, we become powerful. Because now, we can see. And if we can see, we can choose.
Accountability cannot be practiced without self-compassion. It is not shame that leads to transformation; it is the willingness to keep showing up. Again and again. In grace. In truth. In full responsibility.
How to Practice Accountability Daily
Start With Self-Honesty
Name the truth. What are you pretending not to know? What have you committed to but not followed through on? What values are you claiming but not practicing?Review Your Choices Weekly
Take 10 minutes each week to review: Where did I show up in alignment? Where did I avoid? What conversations need to happen? What am I proud of?Choose a Mirror
Pick one person who knows your values and is willing to speak truth to you. Ask them to reflect back on what they’re noticing and listen to them.Name Your Why
Reconnect to the deeper reason behind your commitments. If your “why” isn’t strong enough, your accountability will falter.Own It Fast
When you fall short, name it quickly. This isn’t judgment, simply awareness building.Live Your Values Loudly
Let people see what matters to you through how you show up, not just what you say.Check Your Impact
At the end of each day, ask: Who did I affect today and how? Did I bring peace or chaos, honesty or avoidance, courage or complacency?
Why This Matters More Than Ever
In a world full of noise, distractions, and disconnection, I believe that integrity has the power to be our anchor.
Living with the intention to be in alignment with our values gives us a chance to change our lives continuously, while also changing the lives of those around us. Our kids feel safer. Our partners feel seen. Our teams feel inspired. And our communities get stronger. Consciousness spreads.
That’s the kind of wealth that can’t be bought. That’s the kind of impact that lasts.
Final Words: The Call to Live Boldly
I believe that accountability is not just a leadership principle; it’s a spiritual practice.
To live accountable is to live awake. To realize that every day, we are writing a legacy. And every moment is a chance to realign.
If you’re tired of the gap between what you say and how you live, you’re not alone. But you are responsible.
This work is not easy. But it is sacred.
Because when we honor our word, we reclaim our worth.
So here’s the invitation:
Start NOW by holding yourself accountable. With grace, love, and compassion, in as many moments as possible.
The world is waiting for the real you to show up.
The Courage to Commit
How Integrity, Truth, and Fulfillment Are Forged in the Fire of Staying the Course
How It Begins
We all want to feel free. Right? At least I think that’s true…
There’s a paradox here, however, where in the human experience we tend to overlook that freedom is not the absence of commitment, but the presence of aligned commitment.
How Integrity, Truth, and Fulfillment Are Forged in the Fire of Staying the Course
How It Begins
We all want to feel free. Right? At least I think that’s true…
There’s a paradox here, however, where in the human experience we tend to overlook that freedom is not the absence of commitment, but the presence of aligned commitment.
It’s easy to chase novelty. It takes courage to stay.
It takes courage to say, “This matters to me.”
It takes courage to say, “I will not abandon this, even when it’s hard.”
It takes even more courage to say, “I’m willing to tell the truth when something needs to change.”
Fulfillment, I’ve found, doesn’t arise from constantly shifting directions, looking for the next best thing. It comes from being present to what we’ve chosen and holding it with honesty, accountability, and love.
Commitment is a mirror. It reflects who we are, how we show up, and what we’re really made of.
Let’s talk about the kind of courage it takes to commit and to stay committed.
The Myth of Constant Optimization
We live in a world that idolizes optionality. We’re told to keep our options open, that committing to one path limits our potential. But what if that’s backwards?
What if commitment wasn’t limiting? What if commitment were creation?
In a world constantly nudging us toward upgrades, from our phones to our careers to our relationships, to me, it seems as though we’re being trained to avoid sticking with anything too long. The way I see it, however, is that avoidance has the potential to leave us disconnected, drifting, and unfulfilled.
The truth is, if we allow it, commitment can be one of the most radical and liberating things we do.
That said, and like many of the considerations I offer, commitment is not easy. The second we commit, our friends' fear and doubt have a funny way of showing up in that exact moment. Fear of missing out. Doubt about the outcome. Fear of failure. Doubt over what others might think. Fear of being wrong. Doubt of whether or not we’re enough.
And that’s why commitment requires courage.
The Courage to Keep Showing Up for Ourselves
Let’s start with our health. It’s one of the most obvious places where commitment is needed, and also one of the easiest to abandon. We all know the drill: we make a promise to move more, eat better, sleep more deeply, and care more lovingly for our bodies. And then we get busy. We get tired. We negotiate with ourselves.
But our bodies are not after perfection. They’re after presence.
When I think about courage and commitment in health, I think about the courage it takes to keep returning. To get back on the mat, into the gym, or out on the trail after we’ve fallen off. To listen to what the body needs rather than what the ego wants. To move toward longevity instead of performance. To be honest about our patterns, our habits, and our excuses.
This has shown up for me in both my movement and my nutrition practices. I even wrote about it, at length, years ago. For me, a morning movement practice has become a harder habit to break than getting up early to work out. And my body tends to let me know when it’s been too much of the habit and it’s time to rest. The process works in all directions.
The key, for me, is to have the awareness, to hear what my body is asking for (movement, rest, less drinking, etc) and the courage to listen (get out of bed, not worry about a day off, social fears, etc).
Discipline, to move or to rest, I’ve come to believe, is a deep act of self-respect. And that respect becomes a kind of love. To nourish your body with movement and food, and rest is not just a checklist item. It’s a practice of embodied gratitude.
Peter Attia, in his book Outlive, speaks to the idea of increasing our “health-span,” not just our lifespan. That means choosing vitality and function now, not just when our health is in crisis. It’s not sexy work, but it’s sacred work. The quiet commitment to taking care of this vessel that carries us through life.
And when we commit to our health, not out of punishment but out of partnership with ourselves, we cultivate a different kind of fulfillment, which I have come to feel is a felt sense of integrity in my skin.
The Courage to Stay and the Courage to Speak in Relationships
Now let’s talk about love.
Most of us enter our most important relationships with the best of intentions. We want connection, intimacy, safety, and passion. But the deeper the relationship, the more likely it is to mirror the parts of ourselves we’d rather avoid.
And here’s the truth: you can’t have real intimacy without real courage.
I wrote a bit about love a few weeks ago, if you would like to dive deeper.
For this conversation, however, I am looking at the courage to be seen. The courage to listen. The courage to speak the truth, even when it shakes the foundation of the connection. The courage to stay when things get messy, not because you’re stuck, but because you’re committed to something deeper than comfort. Because messy is beautiful and necessary.
No mud. No lotus.
Susan Craig Scott talks about honest conversations as a practice of connection. And it’s true! When we can speak honestly in love, we create a bridge between two sovereign beings. It takes bravery to name what’s not working, to request what you need, to hold your boundaries while honoring another’s. It’s hard as fuck to tell the truth to someone you love, at the cost of hurting their feelings or making them sad.
And it also takes courage to soften, to be generous, to repair from that truth. As Esther Perel notes, “The quality of our relationships determines the quality of our lives.” I believe that the quality of our relationships is directly proportional to the quality of truth in those relationships.
When we make and keep commitments in love, not as shackles but as sacred agreements, we build trust, resilience, and depth.
It also takes courage to end something with dignity when the commitment is no longer aligned.
Commitment isn’t about gritting your teeth and staying no matter what. It’s about being so in integrity that you are willing to keep showing up honestly, or to make a new choice with courage and care.
The Courage to Build What Matters with our Work
In our careers, too, we often struggle with commitment. We stay too long in jobs that drain us because we’re afraid of change. Or we bounce from one opportunity to the next, chasing success but never feeling satisfied.
What if we reframed work not as a means to status, but as a vehicle for impact?
What might commitment to the impact we make on the world look like?
When we commit to doing work that aligns with our values and uses our gifts, we have the potential to move differently. We stop waiting to be chosen and start choosing ourselves. We begin to feel the gravity of radical responsibility. To our choices. To our behaviors. And to our truth.
In his book “Reboot, ” Jerry Colonna talks about radical self-inquiry as the doorway to meaningful leadership. To commit to a calling, not just a paycheck, means asking hard questions.
What do I stand for?
What am I building?
Am I proud of the person I’m becoming in this work?
The work we do has the chance to become transformational when we lead with this kind of focus on our purpose and from our hearts. I believe that a conscious leader is someone who inspires others to be their best self, while being the best version of themselves.
Work, done well, can become a mirror of who we are. And the courage to stick with it, to weather the ups and downs, to lead from love instead of fear, that can lead us on the path to meaningful contribution.
Courage in the Cycle of Commitment
Here’s what I’ve come to understand:
It takes courage to commit. To say, “This is mine. This is my responsibility.”
It takes courage to uphold a commitment. To keep showing up when the spark fades.
It takes courage to refine a commitment. To evolve with integrity when circumstances shift.
It takes courage to release a commitment. To grieve what was, come into acceptance, and walk away with dignity.
Sticking to a commitment doesn’t mean martyrdom. It means presence. It means honesty. And it means having the guts to be in a relationship with yourself, your values, and your purpose, long enough to see what might flourish. What might be learned?
Fulfillment Is Created, Not Found
Fulfillment is not a lightning strike. It’s a fire we tend.
I believe that we cultivate fulfillment by doing the hard things with love, patience, and compassion. By staying with our bodies, our relationships, and our work when it’s tempting to escape for the sake of comfort. By telling the truth even when it risks discomfort. By choosing what matters over what’s easy.
Commitment, at its core, is a courageous practice of self-alignment.
And when we live in alignment, when our thoughts, actions, and values reflect each other, we feel something deeper than happiness. We feel whole.
Reflection Questions:
What commitments in your life feel most alive? Where do you feel connected?
What commitments are draining you? Are they still aligned, or are they asking for change?
Where are you avoiding commitment out of fear? What truth are you not yet ready to face?
In what area of your life do you most want to feel proud of your follow-through?
A Final Word
I don’t know what your commitments are. But I do know this: the person who keeps their word, who shows up, who lives in integrity with what they value, is the person who has a chance to sleep well at night.
Here is the invitation to walk with purpose. To lead with love. To look yourself in the mirror and say, “I stayed. I showed up. I kept the fire lit.”
And that’s the kind of fulfillment that doesn’t just happen.
It’s chosen. It’s created.
Again. And again. And again.
Money and Meaning: The Role Finances Play on the Path to Fulfillment
Money, like most things, only amplifies what’s already present. And until I began relating to money with courage and authenticity, I couldn’t use it to serve a fulfilling life. I was still using it to mask fear.
How shifting our relationship to money can become a profound act of courage, authenticity, and conscious living
For a long time, I believed money would make me feel safe.
I don’t mean just secure. I mean emotionally, existentially safe. Like if I had enough in the bank, the ever-present anxiety would go quiet, the tension would ease, and the questions about purpose and identity would finally be answered.
Oops.
What I didn’t realize at the time, this now crazy revelation of mine, is that I was never actually looking for money. It had meaning. It was permission to be myself. It was freedom. And, like many, I was confused in thinking that money was the key to all of those things.
Today, it’s much clearer to me that money, like most things, only amplifies what’s already present. And until I began relating to money with courage and authenticity, I couldn’t use it to serve a fulfilling life. I was still using it to mask fear.
On this writing journey, I aim to explore my perspective on the role that finances play in the pursuit of fulfillment. Per usual, it’s not a how-to guide or a financial planning resource.
Trust me, you’d be pretty fucked if you took my financial advice…
Instead it’s a reflection, part personal, part collective, on how our beliefs, wounds, and desires around money shape our lives. And how shifting our relationship to money can become a profound act of courage, authenticity, and conscious living.
The Inherited Beliefs About Money
Most of us were raised with some version of the following beliefs:
Money is power.
Money is security.
Money is success.
Money is status.
Money is what makes life easier, better, and more worthwhile.
Or the now cliché: Money will buy happiness.
And, look, I cannot deny that there is some truth in the idea that money gives us options. Let’s be real. The more profound truth, however, is that many of us have built our lives around accumulating money as an identity, rather than as a means to an end.
We’ve made money the goal, rather than the means.
But here’s the thing: I don’t believe that money alone can bring us fulfillment. Money can make us more comfortable in the life we’re already living, and it's essential to remember that if that life isn’t aligned with truth, money will never be enough.
So we have to ask:
What are we really trying to buy?
What do we believe money will fix?
Who did we learn to become in the name of wealth?
My Turning Point with Money
There was a season in my life when I was doing work that looked good on paper. The income was solid. The title was impressive. But every morning, I felt like I was betraying something in myself. I was tired, disconnected, and driven by fear.
And yet I stayed in this job because it paid well. Because I felt “secure”.
It wasn’t until I left that role, took a financial risk, and started aligning my work with what mattered to me that I realized something:
The fear of not having money had kept me from the life that money was supposed to support.
It took courage to leave. And then even more courage when I did it again. It took continued reflection on my authenticity to admit that the path I was on was not in complete alignment, primarily because the meaning of “alignment” had evolved.
As I continued on this path of alignment, of integrity, the impact I wanted to make on the world became clearer as my focus on money lessened. The idea of what “enough” meant became more about its integral impact than the effect on my bank account.
Money as a Mirror
Money doesn’t lie.
It reflects our priorities, our patterns, our fears, and our desires. The way we spend, save, and think about money tells the story of what we value and, perhaps more telling, what we fear losing.
When we look closely, we start to see:
Do I spend money to avoid discomfort?
Do I hoard money because I don’t trust life?
Do I use money to impress, prove, or control?
Do I avoid money conversations because I feel shame or inadequacy?
These questions aren’t meant to spearhead self-judgment. They’re meant to reflect what freedom might look like.
The way I see it, fulfillment is less about how much money we have than it is about the degree to which we are conscious, courageous, and aligned in our relationship with it.
From Power and Status to Authentic Needs
As a culture, we’ve been sold the idea that money equals worth. We go to school and get good grades so we can get a good job and make good money. The “F” we get is literally for failure, if we do not ascribe to this system.
As a result, we have come, generally speaking, to associate wealth with intelligence, success, influence, and virtue.
Sadly, in this process, we rarely question the emotional cost of chasing money as identity.
So what if we created a new belief system? What if we saw money not as power, but as a sacred tool?
A tool to:
Buy back our time
Invest in what we care about
Support our healing and growth
Create beauty and connection
Resource our purpose and service to others
When money becomes a means to support authentic needs instead of a symbol of status, perhaps we might begin to use it in ways that nourish us.
That’s when money becomes a part of our fulfillment. Not the source.
The Courage to Redefine “Enough”
Most people don’t know what “enough” means to them.
We assume it’s more than we currently have. We chase comfort as if it will resolve our discontent.
But real courage is asking:
What is truly enough for me?
What kind of life am I trying to fund?
What if I measured wealth by how I feel, not just what I earn?
Authenticity asks us to get honest about what we value. Courage asks us to build a life around that honesty.
And sometimes that might mean making less money but living more freely. Sometimes it means changing careers, downsizing, investing in healing, or saying no to what’s profitable but misaligned.
Sometimes its really not easy to live this form of courage. But man, is it real.
And that’s what fulfillment requires.
The Role of Financial Integrity
In the world of courage when it comes to money, financial integrity is possible. As I see it, financial integrity is about making financial decisions that are consistent with our values, our needs, and the truth we proclaim as the impact we say we want to make in the world.
That might look like:
Saying no to a client or project that pays well but feels off
Choosing to fund experiences over possessions
Donating to causes that reflect your beliefs
Getting out of debt to reclaim your sense of agency
Learning financial literacy so you can stop outsourcing your power
This process and these choices are about becoming the kind of courageous person who can trust themselves with money. It requires a departure from the way most of the world relates to money and asks us to choose authenticity over approval. Asks us to reflect on the belief systems we were taught and question our role in the conscious approach to life we feel is important and aligned, rather than what others have told us is accepted.
Fulfillment and Financial Freedom
Financial integrity and the path to financial freedom is often marketed as a number. I believe, however, that true freedom comes from relationship to this sacred tool of money, not just the number.
It’s the freedom to:
Rest without guilt
Work with purpose, not desperation
Speak honestly about your finances
Build a life that supports your aliveness
This freedom demands radical responsibility and agency over the choices we make. Wealth, as a result, can then take on a whole new meaning in our lives with the way we look at our time, our connections, and our health.
As we deepen into fulfillment, our financial goals shift. They become more personal. More soulful. More honest.
We stop chasing “more” and start choosing what’s real in these areas and what serves our being rather than our doing.
Practices for Courageous Financial Alignment
1. Money Reflection Journal
Spend 10 minutes each day reflecting on your emotional and energetic response to money. What came up today — guilt, pride, scarcity, shame, gratitude? Track the patterns.
2. Values-Based Budgeting
Instead of traditional budgeting, build your financial plan around your values. Allocate spending based on what nourishes you — not what impresses others.
3. Conscious Spending Pause
Before making any non-essential purchase, pause and ask: Is this a numbing habit or a nourishing investment?
4. Financial Honesty Check-In
Have a courageous conversation with someone close about your financial fears, desires, or goals. Let yourself be seen.
5. Define “Enough”
Write your own definition of “enough.” Financially. Emotionally. Energetically. Let it guide your decisions.
Journal Prompts
What did I learn about money growing up, and how is it still shaping me?
What am I afraid would happen if I had less money?
What does fulfillment look like for me, and how does money support — or interfere — with that vision?
Where am I out of integrity in my relationship with money?
What would it look like to be courageous with money this year?
Final Thoughts: Choosing Wealth That’s Real
Money matters. Let’s not pretend it doesn’t.
But what matters more is how we relate to it. How we use it. How we let it reflect who we are becoming.
Fulfillment doesn’t ask us to reject money. It asks us to redeem it. To reclaim it as a tool for truth, not a mask for fear.
It asks us to stop chasing numbers and start living values. To stop outsourcing our power and start embodying responsibility.
When we relate to money with courage and authenticity, we begin to build lives that are not only more meaningful but more whole. As a result wealth has the chance to become something we experience, not just something we possess.
And in that space, in that freedom, we might find something better than status. We might find peace. We might find purpose. We might find ourselves. Feels something worth trying to me.
Developing the Courage to Create Fulfillment
Real fulfillment doesn’t come from ease. It comes from alignment. From truth. From the willingness to live in full contact with your life, rather than hiding behind the stories and roles you’ve been taught to perform. And stepping into that kind of life? It requires one thing over and over again: courage.
Courage isn’t something you’re born with or without. It’s not a personality type. Courage is a practice.
Fulfillment isn’t something that just happens. It’s not the inevitable reward of checking enough boxes, climbing enough ladders, or earning enough approval. It’s the result of a much deeper, much riskier path — the path of courage.
Real fulfillment doesn’t come from ease. It comes from alignment. From truth. From the willingness to live in full contact with your life, rather than hiding behind the stories and roles you’ve been taught to perform. And stepping into that kind of life? It requires one thing over and over again: courage.
This article explores the essential role courage plays in living a fulfilled life. My intention is to begin this conversation around developing and practicing courage, by grounding in a living invitation: to live free, live bold, and die fulfilled by meeting each moment with honesty, integrity, and heart.
The Practice of Courage
Let’s begin with a redefinition.
I do not believe that courage is something you’re born with or without. I don’t think it’s a personality type. I see courage as a practice. A choice. A willingness to show up when it would be easier to hide. It’s not about fearlessness. It’s about moving with fear, rather than being ruled by it.
On the path to fulfillment, I do not believe that courage is optional. It’s a requirement, a gateway, as we develop consciousness.
On the note of fulfillment, however, what I want to propose is that this path cannot be covered in comfort. It’s a journey of congruence and integrity. It’s about knowing what matters to us, and living like it does.
And that gap between knowing and living? That’s where I see courage living.
Integrity as a Compass
In The Way of Integrity, Martha Beck writes about the courage it takes to live in alignment with our deepest truth. She defines integrity not just as moral uprightness, but as wholeness, or the state of being fully yourself, undivided, un-fractured.
Most of us, she argues, have been conditioned to live out of integrity. We shape-shift to please others. We suppress parts of ourselves to fit in. We say yes when we mean no. We stay silent to avoid conflict.
But all of that comes at a cost.
Disintegration leads to suffering. Fulfillment, on the other hand, requires a return to integrity and ultimately a coming home to ourselves.
And that return? It demands courage as coming home to ourselves can be really scary, really uncomfortable, and vulnerable.
How I have come to understand what it means to live in integrity:
Saying no when it’s unpopular
Telling the truth when it’s inconvenient
Changing course when it disrupts the plan
Honoring our bodies, our voices, and our values no matter who’s watching
Beck writes, “Integrity is the cure for unhappiness. Period.” and she’s clear that it’s not an easy cure. It’s the kind of medicine that burns on the way down and is exactly what we need to heal.
The Courage to Speak Truth
If integrity is about living your truth, then authentic connection is about sharing it.
Susan Craig Scott, in her work on fierce conversations, makes it plain: courageous communication is foundational to meaningful relationships and meaningful lives. And most of us are avoiding the conversations that would actually set us free.
She defines a fierce conversation as one in which “we come out from behind ourselves into the conversation and make it real.”
I see that as courage in action.
Real conversations are vulnerable. Can I risk saying something that someone may not agree with, or even worse, reject me for? A real conversation threatens the illusion of control. If we are in truth, in courage, we might break the trance of politeness and reveal what’s happening. Watch out.
If we’re not careful, here’s what else may happen. We might:
Build trust
Deepen intimacy
Create clarity
Open the door to transformation
My whole life has yearned for these types of connections. Trusting. Intimate. Clear. Transformative. And I have struggled, deeply, as a result of my polite programming, my fear of shame and rejection, and ultimate avoidance of the truth at the risk of hurting someone’s feelings.
What I am learning, however, is that on my own path to fulfillment, the courage to speak truth, to a partner, a colleague, a friend, a parent, and myself, is becoming a non-negotiable.
And I am practicing with every conversation I have.
Unspoken truths have become barriers. Hard conversations have become invitations.
So far, one of my major learnings is that the conversations I have been avoiding are often the ones that hold the key to my next level of freedom. This freedom is in my own heart and soul to not fear or worry about unspoken feelings, expectations, desires, etc, but also in the connections I am recreating in this practice. The relationships with the people I care about most are becoming free to exist in a space of authenticity and love, rather than a manufactured obligation.
It has been difficult and beautiful.
Radical Self-Inquiry
On my journey as a coach, one of my core influences has been Jerry Colonna. In his book Reboot: Leadership and the Art of Growing Up, he speaks about the courage it takes to look in the mirror. To stop blaming others. To stop performing. To stop running from the parts of yourself you don’t want to see.
Fuck.
It is from Reboot that I came to understand the process of radical self-inquiry.
The best and worst part of this process, the process of deeply inquiring about myself, is that it’s not a one-time journaling exercise. It’s a lifelong practice of asking:
Who am I?
What am I pretending not to know?
How am I complicit in creating the conditions I say I don’t want?
What needs to be healed, forgiven, or released?
The list is endless… hence that “radical” thing.
What I have learned (despite definitely not nailing it yet) is that this kind of courage is quiet. It’s not about any bold declarations I make or major brave leaps I take. It has been about sitting with myself when the noise fades. And deliberately creating moments for that noise to fade. It has been about telling the truth to myself about my patterns, my pain, and my impact. My fear.
This process is about reclaiming my life from falsities and judgments. Giving myself the gift of curiosity and truth.
And I believe that the path toward fulfillment requires this reclamation. I propose that until we do the inner work, we will sabotage or numb every external success because there won't be an alignment or congruence to the truth I have uncovered in myself that allows for connection to what I have worked to uncover as fulfilling.
Fulfillment Is a Byproduct of Courage
Quick important note: I want to get out of a right/wrong paradigm in this world. Man does judgement suck.
My invitation is not to see fulfillment as this path of “getting it all right.” It comes from living with integrity. From speaking what’s real. From facing what’s true. And that shit is messy. It’s not a right or wrong process. It’s a vulnerable practice and a humbly learn process of growth.
Courage is the bridge between practice and learning, and growing. Between knowing and doing. Between longing and living. Between who we’ve been and who we’re becoming.
And every time we choose courage, every time we tell the truth, take the risk, ask the hard question, we create more space for fulfillment to be possible.
Practices of Courage on the Path
This isn’t theoretical. It’s embodied. Here are some practices to work with:
1. The Integrity Inventory
Make a list of where your life feels out of alignment. Where are you saying one thing but doing another? Where are you out of sync with your values?
2. The Unsaid Conversation
Identify one conversation you’ve been avoiding. What are you afraid will happen if you speak it? What might be possible if you do?
3. Radical Self-Check
Spend 15 minutes journaling on the question: What am I pretending not to know? Let it be messy. Let it be real.
4. Daily Courage Commitment
Each day, name one small act of courage. A boundary. A truth. A risk. A choice to align with your deeper self. Track them. They compound.
5. Body Listening
Your body knows when you’re in integrity. Practice pausing and asking: What does my body say about this decision, this relationship, this path? Honor the signal.
Journal Prompts
Where am I out of integrity in my life?
What truth have I been avoiding?
What would it look like to live 10% more courageously this week?
Who am I when no one is watching, and what parts of that person long to be seen?
If I trusted my courage more than my fear, what would I change?
Final Thoughts: The Everyday Hero’s Path
We often think courage belongs to heroes, adventurers, and rebels. But courage belongs to all of us.
It belongs to the man who tells his wife the truth. To the woman who says no to a career that drains her. To the friend who holds a boundary with kindness. To the leader who admits they don’t have all the answers. To the parent who listens instead of fixing. To the human who asks, over and over:
What is true for me, and am I willing to live it?
Fulfillment is not a product of perfection. It’s a reflection of how courageously you’re living.
So take the risk. Have the conversation. Face the mirror. Return to integrity.
And trust this: Your courage is enough. Your truth is sacred. Your life is worth showing up for.
Live free. Live boldly. Die fulfilled.
One courageous step at a time.